not the only one…


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love & community w/o religion?

Today, I responded on facebook to a local pastor at a liberal church who was talking about why he thinks christian liberal churches are in decline but conservative churches thrive. His answer: christian liberals have given up and conservative churches simplify their message so much that it provides a safe haven in a world that is often overly-complex.

Here is my response:

Hi [pastor], I was raised as a member of the UCC 1st congregationalist church of Bellevue and I share your world view, and that of the church, that life is good and so are humans. I still have respect for all UCC and liberal churches. I have thought about returning in recent years (its been about 12 years since i’ve been involved) because I believe that community and love are missing from our world, missing from local communities and missing in everyday interactions. But there is something keeping me from re-engaging with a church. I work for social justice in my non-profit job everyday and volunteer for several organizations working for justice, dignity and equity for all. I would like to push back against the idea the “christian liberals” have given up, and instead offer the idea that liberals are dropping the title of “christian” because it no longer resonates with them. So many horrible things have happened in the name of organized religion, that, for me, I would like to find a new way to express love and community to the people around me. A new path to justice that welcomes all people, but is not rooted in a dedication to any deity. Instead, to work toward justice, peace, love and community because they are well worth fighting for on their own. In peace, Natalia

I am happy for this opportunity to express my views in this area because I have been recently struggling with the idea of returning to a church, but something is just holding me back. I am very interested in the idea of finding truth, peace, love, community and justice without having to under-pin this work in a faith that is rooted in a man-made persona, named god or jesus christ.

I believe there is a strong spiritual force in the universe that surrounds us and I believe that nature is a powerful force. I believe that if we listen closely and pay close attention to the present, we will learn much about the pulse of our world. There is so much happening every second. If we are too loud or distracted or focused on the tiny material details of our consumerist culture, we miss so much beauty, truth and love. I believe that putting our faith in the universe and acknowledging there is a force running through us and everything surrounding us that is much, much larger than we are is necessary if we are ever going to find peace as a society. In this sense, what Christians call “prayer” is a powerful force, because it is a recognition that something larger then us is pulling the strings. Writing is a form of “prayer” for me. Its my way of putting my concerns into the universe, letting go of my anxieties so I can slow down and realize all the beauty and goodness in my life. And, I do talk to the universe too. Christians would say, we are all “blessed.” Seculars like me say, we are “lucky.”  I believe we are addressing similar phenomena but just in different, and often separate, paradigms, complete with separate language.

I realize I have been speaking in a “christian context” because that was the context of my interaction above. But I would like to acknowledge all religions and wish for all religious and secular people to come together to realize that one way is not better than the other. We are all on this planet so we should do our best to enjoy each other and make our world the best we can for everyone. To me, we are put here to learn how to trust and love each other — and, it can seem like at every turn society is trying to block this from happening: stereotypes, competing religions, corporate profits valued over people, classism, hatred, war, fear, and our constant desire to divide ourselves by groups (gender, race, sexual orientation, class, ethnic origin, age, ability, religious affiliation, political party and on and on).

My wish is for people to slow down, get to know each other better and learn to love each other more because of our differences as well as our similarities. After all, humans are much more similar than we are different.


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what women want

Listening to NPR last week, I was upset by a story about a book called, “The End of Men: And the Rise of Women” by Hanna Rosin of The Atlantic magazine. “Stop dividing women and men!” This is what I want to shout at Hanna Rosin. The title is problematic and so is the content — or at least what the author was telling the reporter on the radio. I do not intend to read the book.

Starting with a provocative title might help sell books but this one won’t do any good to advance our culture or the place of women in it. I don’t want men to “go away” or “come to an end.” I love many men in my life. My father is a good, kind-hearted man who treats all people with equity and respect. My partner, whom I plan to marry, is the most amazing person I know, and is genuinely respectful of all people. He is understanding of the second-class treatment all women experience at times, especially that of women of color or queer women or poor women. The women Rosin talks about are women who are breadwinners and making more than their male counterparts in traditionally male-dominated sectors like business and technology. But she overlooks the fact that men still dominate the highest paying sectors of our economy and that women still make 77 cents on the dollar compared to men.

Most obviously, she is not considering how poor women or women of color are left out of the higher wage jobs in our economy. Even if more women are becoming the bread-winners in their households, its still mostly white, middle & upper class women who are doing this with financial success. Depending on your zip code in America, women of color have been single-mothers and heads of households for a very long time because the men in their communities have been held down by lack of economic opportunity, prison or both. We cannot talk about the “place” of women in our society in blanket terms. The experiences of American women differ dramatically based on race, class, place of birth, religion and/or politics. The people of America and our Native brothers and sisters are not homogeneous.

And lastly, women do not want to dominate men. This is not what feminism teaches. Women want to be treated with equality, equity, trust, love and respect. Women want to be listened to just like men have been for eons. When feminism talks about equality for all that is exactly what they mean. And yes, its true, to achieve equality between men and women, men are going to have to let go of some of the power they have held for as long as we have been recording history. Equity requires the balance of power be distributed evenly.


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love is complicated

a life lived simply is the best?  is it?  I’m want to believe it because I often take the more challenging options in life and I often find myself suffering for it. I usually oppose the status quo. I’m queer, I work for a non-profit, I try to talk politics and money with strangers. I’m working for the freedoms conservatives try to take away:  access to birth control for women, access to safe abortion for women, affordable healthcare for the poor and middle classes, affordable housing options for low-income families and people struggling with homelessness. I’m against the status quo.  I want more love in our world. Empty the prisons, stop caging people of color and poor people, tax the rich and corporations, end tax giveaways to the oil industry that pollutes the earth, campaign finance reform so the 1% cant buy elections,  overturn citizen’s united, do not discriminate and instead have love for trans members of our world, have love for the poorest among us. Do not hide your money in off-shore accounts where you cant be taxed and therefore cannot give back to the country that birthed and reared you. Do not ship jobs overseas where labor is cheap and workers are exploited and abused.

Be kind, more gentle to one another, regardless of gender, race, religion, ethnic origin, sexual orientation, age, income level or political viewpoint. Do not judge each other by the clothes or adornments we wear, do not judge each other. seek to love each other first. In a world where we are taught to judge and compare, win or lose, succeed or fail, the job of loving first is very difficult. We must help each other to love more and hate much much less.

A simple life forgets how complicated our world is, how diverse it is, how different our backgrounds are. We live in complicated times and we must embrace this. It is not enough to have an equal society anymore, we must strive to be an equitable one. An equitable world understands that life is diverse, people are diverse. We all come to adulthood by very different paths and circumstances. An equitable world view recognizes the difference in our backgrounds, our cultures, our religions and chooses to acknowledge and accept difference instead of presuming we have the same backgrounds and will reach the same conclusions, and take the same actions in the face of conflict or in the time of decision. We are all different and we all contribute in valuable ways. The more we open up and allow this diversity of culture, of class, of race, of gender to exist and to thrive the more perfect and complete our world will be. The more we can learn from one another, the more our world will progress as the brilliant, diverse, resilient, complicated place that it is. Choose the complicated path in life. It will not be easy, but in the end, the experience will be rich, beautiful and enlightening.  Love many people everyday.